City That Never Stops Complaining About Rain, Desperate For Rain

City That Never Stops Complaining About Rain, Desperate For Rain | Vancouver rain. Photo credit: Tim Shields
City That Never Stops Complaining About Rain, Desperate For Rain | Vancouver rain. Photo credit: Tim Shields

A city in the Pacific Northwest, known for it’s constant complaining about the amount of precipitation it receives, today finds itself in the awkward position of desperately begging for it to rain.

Temperatures in Metro Vancouver have risen as high as 25℃ in the past month and it has now been over 19 days since it rained in the city, “surely some sort of record” many in Raincouver have wondered.

But despite breaking a 61-year-old rainfall record as recently as March, the people of the Lower Mainland are already pining for a return to more “normal weather” after the recent wave of heat and smoke that has engulfed the city.

“It’s just so damn hot and muggy,” one worried local told CTV News. “I’m not sure how much more of this heat I can take. This is worse than Toronto.”

“Usually I love nothing more than bitching to my doorman about the weather but this is crazy,” another Vancouverite exclaimed. “Honestly I don’t know if I’ll ever see rain again,” she added, concluding that it is surely only a matter of days before the entire region’s water supply runs out.

“I haven’t seen a raindrop in over 3 weeks, I’m beginning to forget what it looks like,” claimed Jake (31) from North Vancouver, a city that routinely exceeds rainfall of 2,500 mm per year.

“I thought we were supposed to be living in a fucking rainforest?” tweeted one Yaletown native, who regularly complains about her inability to go outside for the months of September through June due to rainfall.

In response to the sudden demand for the floodgates to open the Mayor of Vancouver has requested water be diverted from the ongoing BC wildfires crisis and sprinkled gently across the city, but Mayor Robertson admits he’s still awaiting a reply.

Luckily however, Vancouver’s prayers look set to be answered this weekend after locals staged several successful rain dances across the Lower Mainland.

“It’s promised to rain on Sunday thank god!” one Downtown resident noted. “And it’s supposed to clear up again by Monday which will be great. It’ll be nice to have a break from the fucking rain for a change.”

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