Freddy Adu leaving Finland to move to the moon

Finnish-club Kuopion-Palloseura have announced to ESPN that, 25-year-old wonderkid, Freddy Adu is leaving Finland to start a MLS team with Pele “the old Freddy Adu” joining as manager. 

• Moonchester United tie American wonderkid down to a 6 year deal, worth 6 million bitcoins a-lunar-year.

• “It’s an amazing opportunity to join the Cosmos like Pele.” Some confusion between New York Cosmos and literal cosmos.

Freddy “the new Pele” Adu has agreed personal terms to sign for Moonchester United football club, the moon’s first football team in the city of New Miami in the south east of the moon. He is set to be joined by Brazilian legend Pele who becomes the club’s first manager.

Adu, having played for over 97 teams in his 12 glittering years of football, has been to all the great clubs and left his mark on each and every one. From not playing at Serbian powerhouses FK Jagodina to failing to play a single game for Finnish giants Kuopion Palloseura, Adu’s done it all. Who could forget Adu’s stunning season at Portuguese heavyweight C.F. Os Belenenses where he failed to score in 3 substitute appearances.

Adu’s astonishing 38 career goals to date in only 11 years means he is currently on track to obliterate Peles measly 1,279 goals tally, providing Adu continues playing until the year 2375. Adu seemed confident:

“I’m so close to the Gaffer’s record and he convinced me that the Moon was the best place for me to finally overtake my old rival.”

– Freddy Adu leaving Finland to David Beckham’s newly formed Moonchester United.

Adu, the 37 25-year-old wandering wizard, has recently left Finnish club Kuopion Palloseura but quickly realised that Finland was a lot colder than initially thought. The -233°C night-time temperature on the moon is not thought to be an issue for Adu.

Freddy Adu hopes that once he has finally beaten Pele’s record his long time muse JoJo would take him back. JoJo (pictured below) hit rock bottom and was found working as a prostitute in Detroit after then-boyfriend Freddy Adu turned down Real Madrid and Manchester United and favouring Philadelphia Union.

JoJo was unavailable for comment.

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