GOP Website Declares Donald Trump Election Winner Hours Before Polls Close

GOP Website Declares Donald Trump Election Winner
GOP Website Declares Donald Trump Election Winner

THE official GOP website has released a statement within the last hour declaring Donald Trump as the winner of the 2016 U.S. election, despite the vast majority of Americans yet to cast their votes.

“Americans from all across the country have turned up to vote in the one and only 2016 U.S election,” the statement began from Team GOP, the Republican party’s official blog. “The consensus was clear after the dust settled, Donald J. Trump was the clear winner and will become the 45th and final president of the United States.”

“Not since the Vice presidential debate has this country seen a more resounding result,” it added.

The post which was curiously titled “Just in case…” was removed within 15 minutes after some observers questioned why the GOP made the announcement 12 hours before polls close.

The statement ended abruptly, by highlighting “President Trump’s top moments from the election”, including, “banning mexicans and muslims”, “pussy grab” and “finally putting the disabled in their place”.

The link to the original article was posted on Trump’s official MySpace page including a message from the man himself. “This is at Real Donald Trump here. It is such a huge honour to have been voted America’s next top president. My first act is to order the Secret Service to arrest Hillary Clinton immediately and tell me how the hell to disable the child lock on twitter.”

Stay tuned to the Burrard Street Journal on Facebook and Twitter for the latest news this election day…

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