EXCLUSIVE: How Donald Trump’s Sons Spent 24 Hours In Vancouver

The President of the United States’s sons recently visited Vancouver for 24-hours, enjoying a whirlwind tour of this great city and they graciously invited the Burrard Street Journal to tag along.

Here’s just a sample of the highlights Donald Jr. and Eric Trump got up to on their big day off in Vancity:

• Had breakfast in the Elbow Room Cafe on Davie St. Ordered sit-down meal initially.
  Changed it to takeaway after 5 minutes.
• Tweeted a picture of the Seawall to their father mocking its length but complementing its ability to keep Mexicans away.
• Explained to tour guide how “amazing” Stanley Park would be as a golf resort and spa.
• Commented that East Hastings had “major potential” to be bulldozed down and replaced with semi-luxury hotels.
• Mentioned that they thought the Steam Clock was “honestly, pretty shit”.
• Lead a large parade down Burrard Street singing Twist n’ Shout as thousands of Vancouverites danced along.
• Avoided any streets where some unrelated protests were taking place.
• Smoked a few joints on Wreck Beach and caught a late evening yoga session at YYoga.
• Posed for obligatory “East Van” Sign selfie. Immediately left and drove to Yaletown.
• Ended the night by raiding Costco for toilet rolls and TP-ing the Shangri-La. Also picked up years supply of hair gel.

And all this for the small cost of just $2.8 million to the Canadian and American taxpayers apiece. Those Groupons sure worked out.

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