BIRMINGHAM, UK—John Terry has wasted little time settling in at his new club, having been spotted pulling aside several of Aston Villa’s most promising youngsters to remind them that someday he will likely shag their wives.
Despite dropping down to the Championship, the former Chelsea and England captain vowed to only cheat on his wife with Premier League talent and challenged the Villa youngsters to make the step up to his level.
“Train hard, play harder and never lose sight of your objectives,” JT told the young boys, “and some day you could be in the first team playing with me, while I’m at home playing with your missus.”
“Champions League winners, World Cup winners, Premier League winners, I’ve fucked the wives of all of them,” he proclaimed. “That’s my standard so this next generation better step up.”
While acknowledging that Birmingham is not quite London, Terry reminded the Under-16 side of the standards he expects. “I ain’t ogling Championship level birds for any more than a season. You need to be pulling on a Premier League level or I’ll be off to LA in no time.”
Terry is expected to speak to the Villa girls’ team next week to discuss the merits of leaving football in order to pursue careers as glamour models.