VANCOUVER, BC—After announcing that British Columbia will operate state-run marijuana dispensaries across the region, the provincial government today unveiled a new flagship weedemporium set to become the largest in the world.
The 41,400 sq. ft. stoner’s paradise will replace the current site of the Vancouver Art Gallery and will be officially opened on July 1st by Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.
The 3-floor megastore is expected to generate the province revenue in the trillions of dollars, industry analysts predict, and will become the first building in Vancouver to be smellable from Grouse Mountain.
The news has shocked many local businesses and legislators who fear the venture could attract an “unsavoury element” to the area surrounding the gallery, as well as those who feel the business is unneeded.
“While our choice of the current site of the art gallery may appear surprising, rest assured our research indicates there is demand for marijuana in that area of Downtown Vancouver,” a BC spokesperson responded. “We’re confident we can make this work.”
On the contrary the emporium’s newly-hired Curator, Dr. Beesee Budd, questioned if the site will be big enough to meet demand.
“While we will endeavor to meet Vancouver’s insatiable appetite for weed, we still anticipate long delays in the first few months or years of business,” she warned potential customers, hinting at a possible expansion of the facility in 2020.
Reaction from the general public has been mixed, with many Vancouverites seemingly unaware that the building wasn’t always a weed store, while others are shocked at what the city of Vancouver is becoming.
“A place where you can just walk in off the street and buy weed, in Vancouver? Never thought I’d see the day,” Mark, 57, told our reporter. “It’s deeply unsettling.”
With the VAG not expected to move until 2019, the Gallery and marijuana megastore will be expected to work simultaneously sharing space until the gallery’s new home is ready. “Well we’ve been working on each other doorsteps for decades now, what’s a few more months?” VAG Director Emily Pivot accepted.