David Beckham and the MLS have announced that new expansion club “Moonchester United”, are to be located in the newly formed city of New Miami on the moon.
Former Man Utd and Real Madrid superstar, David Beckham has teamed up with NASA, and the MLS in ambitious new venture to finally bring the beautiful game to the moon. Beckham, who had grown increasingly frustrated in his attempts to find a home for his new team said the idea hit him one night when he was practicing hairdressing with his son Brooklyn. The city of Miami had so far refused to approve stadium planning permission for the imaginatively named Miami Beckham United.
After discovering that no one in Miami likes soccer, Beckham had been shopping around for a new location for his MLS expansion club. “We just couldn’t find any space for the stadium and then I had a brainwave. Where do you have lots of space? In space itself. It was quite a deep moment for me and I called Don (Garber) straight away.” At the unveiling, MLS Commissioner Don Garber extended the New Miami side an invitation to join the MLS in 2016, announcing that Moonchester United would fit in with the equally ridiculous sounding LA Galaxy, Houston Dynamos and San Jose Earthquakes. Garber boomed “Well clearly I love any publicity whatsoever, so I knew that I had to jump at this, and risk bankrupting the league in pursuit of the American dream.”
Beckham, unperturbed by suggestion that moon had no gravity or air, had initially wanted to bring a team to the sun. “I had wanted to start a MLS franchise on the sun. However my research indicates that the sun is very hot in the summer when the MLS season is in full flight.” Moonchester United have appointed Viagra spokesman Pele as the clubs new manager and have moved quickly to tie American wonderkid Freddy Adu down to a 6 year deal worth 6 million bitcoins a-lunar-year.
Beckham has denied that the move is motivated by his newly adopted “religion”, Scientology. “Nonsense. The great Overlord Xenu has told me this was my destiny when I soul me sold to him and moved to Real Madrid.” The former United star continued: “I introduced soccer to the last people on earth to have never heard of it, America, so now its time to introduce my game to our galactic brothers.”
Beckham also stated that plans are underway to build a giant magnifying glass on the international space station so people can watch from their gardens.
The moon was unavailable for comment.
