Trump Identifies Canadian Women As ‘Second Biggest Threat to U.S. After ISIS’

Trump threatened by Canadian women
Trump threatened by Canadian women

AFTER six Canadian women were denied entry into the United States for revealing their plans to protest the inauguration of Donald Trump, President Trump has identified Canadian women as the “second biggest” threat currently facing the U.S.

Inaugurated on Friday, President Trump took the weekend off to enjoy a well deserved rest but began Monday morning in a manner that will no doubt become the hallmark of his presidency—an impromptu press conference on the front steps of the White House, tackling the most trending topic on Twitter.

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Trump immediately characterized women North of the border as “different”, claiming there is “no doubt” they are trying to “corrupt the minds” of their American counterparts:

“Canadian women threaten our core values, our way of life and the very things we are trying to do here,” the President began, in front of an estimated 10 million supporters gathered on the White House front lawn. “In addition, Vice President Pence tells me there’s no estimating how many free abortions these women have already had.”

“If they start spreading this rhetoric of political, social and economic equality across America, then what? Women start expecting to become president just because the vast majority of the American people vote for them? Then the whole damn system collapses.” – President Trump on Canadian women

“Can you imagine what would happen if our women find out how pussy-whipped Canadian men are?” he shuttered. “It doesn’t even bare thinking about.”

“No. Canadian women must be stopped. They’re literally the worst. Second only to ISIS, I’m telling you,” the commander-in-chief added.

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The Guardian reported that the six Canadian nationals, alongside two French citizens, were given no official reason as to why they were unable to participate in the Women’s March on Washington D.C.

“Someone muttered something about a new sheriff in town,” Sophie (41) from Ottawa said, “but that was it”.

However Trump claims the decision was a matter of “national security” as the ladies had an “arsenal of destructive and disturbing items” on their persons:

“We found banners with disgusting images of my daughter and I, that I have personally confiscated, as well as hundreds of posters of Vice President Pence being sodomized by a multicoloured moose.”

Who do you think are more dangerous? ISIS or Canadian women? Join the debate on Facebook and Twitter