CUPERTINO, CA(James Ryan Lowe)—Unveiling their next-generation flagship smartphone at a press release, Apple claimed Monday that their latest iPhone is capable of becoming obsolete up to 50% faster than its predecessor.
The new device is available with a wide array of new features, all of which are predicted to become outdated more quickly than ever before.
“USB-A cables were rather slow to be phased out,” said Apple CEO Tim Cook at a press release. “Our new wireless charging system will become outdated in half the time.”
Loyal Apple customers have voiced their excitement over the announcement. “I can’t believe I only have to wait six months to replace this brand new $1000 phone,” said local customer Brian Schnitt. “I had to wait a whole year to replace my old one.”
At press time, local Samsung Galaxy user Jonathan Hugu had reportedly boasted that Android had achieved this rate of obsolescence years ago.