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NEWS
Trump Mocks Biden Over Size Of Inauguration Crowd
PALM BEACH, FL—The outgoing President of the United States, Donald Trump, has attacked his predecessor, Joe Biden, by mocking the size of his inauguration...
CANADIAN NEWS
Trump Mocks Biden Over Size Of Inauguration Crowd
PALM BEACH, FL—The outgoing President of the United States, Donald Trump, has attacked his predecessor, Joe Biden, by mocking the size of his inauguration...
Donald Trump Jr. Tests Positive For Being A Dipshit
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The White House has confirmed that Donald Trump Jr., eldest son to the outgoing U.S. President, has tested positive for being a dipshit.
He...
Refusing To Concede, Kanye Demands Full Recount Of All 145 Million Votes
NEW YORK, NY—Kanye West has this morning refused to concede the 2020 U.S. presidential election, instead demanding a full and thorough recount of "every...
Trump Advised To Drink As Much Bleach As Possible
WASHINGTON, DC—The American President Donald Trump has tonight been advised to ingest as much bleach as is humanly possible following his positive diagnosis for...
FOOTBALL NEWS
Man Utd Make Last-Minute Bid To Re-Sign Marouane Fellaini
MANCHESTER, UK—With just hours remaining of the 2020 summer transfer window, Manchester United have launched a last minute bid to re-sign Marouane...
Jesse Lingard Unveils New Clothing Range Exclusively For Middle-Aged Lesbians
Not content with conquering the world of football, Jesse Lingard aims to conquer the world of fashion with the debut of...
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Offered New 25-Year Contract By Man Utd
MANCHESTER United have rewarded Ole Gunnar Solskjaer for his excellent start as caretaker manager by offering the norwegian a new 25-year contract....
Man Utd Make Last-Minute Bid To Re-Sign Marouane Fellaini
MANCHESTER, UK—With just hours remaining of the 2020 summer transfer window, Manchester United have launched a last minute bid to re-sign Marouane...
Phil Jones Shocked To Discover Football Has Returned, Claims Nobody Informed Him
MANCHESTER, UK —On July 24th England and Manchester United defender Phil Jones (28) admitted his life got turned upside down after being...
Juventus Sign Cartoon Aardvark For £72.5 Million
TURIN, ITALY—Serie A leaders Juventus have completed the signing of Arthur, the cartoon aardvark from the popular animated tv series Arthur for...
Respect. Lionel Messi Just Confirmed That All Barcelona Players Will Start Paying Taxes Due...
BARCELONA, SPAIN—As the Coronavirus continues to devastate the world, particularly Italy and Spain, players for FC Barcelona today announced that they will...
