Barcelona star, Neymar Jr., has become the last professional footballer on earth to be linked with a move to Manchester United this summer. The Daily Mirror claim “reliable” sources say Woodward met with Barcelona officials to discuss a switch to Old Trafford.
Questioned by the Catalan press, Neymar refused to rule anything out: “Well, I am obviously pleased to be the last player on earth linked with a rich club like Man United, but not everything in life is about money. Fame is equally as important. I want to be the main man, not second fiddle to some Argentinian. Maybe I will accept a move to Manchester. Maybe I will use them to get a bigger contract at Barcelona. Maybe I will string them both along before randomly signing for Chelsea. Who knows?”
Mark Stein, the Daily Mirror “journalist” who invented the rumour, says he was pleasantly surprised no one made-it-up sooner: “I can’t believe I finally thought of a new player to be lined with United. It’s been a tough transfer window for me with all the crazy rumours, so I’m chuffed-to-bits to be honest. Looks like my kids will be eating 3 meals a day, this week.”
Mr. Stein said the “transfer rumour free-for-all” had meant times are tough for reporters these days: “My last transfer rumour was ‘Shane Long to Man United’ back in June. It didn’t do as well as I had hoped. While Man United signing Southampton players is very ‘in’ right now, he’s Irish, and Irish players don’t play up front for Man United anymore. They play defensive midfield or centre back or often both.”