MANCHESTER, UK [by Jónas Bjarnason]—On July 24th England and Manchester United defender Phil Jones (28) admitted his life got turned upside down after being told that fierce rivals Liverpool had won their first Premier League title in 30 years.
“I was taken by surprise. I thought we were still in lockdown. My parents promised to let me know when it was safe for me to go outside, but I guess they forgot,” explained the Premier League winner, adding, “I feel anxious now, I haven’t heard from anyone in the club since COVID happened. I really hope someone reads this interview and returns my messages.”
Despite facing a far from certain future, Jones is confident he’ll be back in the squad when he returns to the club. “I did have few setbacks like losing my parking spot, so I’ve been using pay parking near our training ground. The long walk is good exercise anyway. Sometimes they don’t let me in for team practice, so instead, I just run circles around Carrington listening to my two favorite Ke$ha songs”. He then added: “I heard Tik Tok got very popular, so I added her song to my iPod mini to stay relevant.”
“I’m still young and have my whole career ahead of me. David Moyes has been getting some backlash from the media. Still, I believe we can turn the season around,” Jones insisted.