BARCELONA, SPAIN—As the Coronavirus continues to devastate the world, particularly Italy and Spain, players for FC Barcelona today announced that they will resume paying their taxes to the Spanish government in full until the Covid-19 crisis is over.
The decision was announced by star player and Chief Tax Avoiding Officer at Barcelona, Lionel Messi.
“We Barcelona players cannot afford to sit idly by when our country is falling apart around us. We need more doctors, nurses and hospitals and as a result we need more tax revenue,” Messi announced on Facebook. “Because of this, we the Barcelona players, have taken the very difficult decision to start paying our taxes in full.”
Spanish tax authorities are reportedly “shocked” by the announcement with many remarking they never thought they would live to see the day that Lionel Messi voluntarily paid his tax bill. “Has the Bernabeu frozen over or has Lionel Messi just offered to pay his taxes,” responded one stunned tax executive.
Barcelona players have famously not paid a single cent in tax revenue since the mid 00’s when a young 17-year-old Argentine showed up at the Nou Camp with new ideas. “He was so incredibly determined. Leo came with this singular attitude that he would become the greatest player in the world and also never pay taxes again,” recalls club legend Xavi.
“After we won our first La Liga title with him, he gifted every single player in the squad a new accountant and an offshore holding company. ‘From now on you will never stop winning and you will never stop avoiding taxes,’ he told us. He was not wrong.”