WASHINGTON, DC — Elon Musk today announced a brand-new currency for Jewish people in an effort to prove he is not antisemitic.
Unveiling a new task force specifically for this purpose, Musk announced that all Jewish people in the U.S. will become “unburdened of the weak U.S. Dollar” and will instead use a new currency tentatively called “Muski.”
The currency, which will have a 1:1 value with Dogecoin, will only be usable in specific areas of the United States where Jewish people “must remain for their safety,” the de facto ruler of the free world told The Daily Stormer.
“Together with my assistant, President Trump, we will create special zones to protect Jewish people. There are a lot of crazy people who want the Jews to have nothing,” he said. “The American people didn’t elect me as their ruler to let that happen.”