HOPING to draw a line under the controversy once and for all, Sesame Street have today announced that Bert and Ernie are not a couple but “just fuck buddies”.
“They’re just 2 friends who’ve lived together for 20 years who occasionally sleep together when they are not in committed long term relationships, that’s it,” A rep for Sesame Street told the Washington Post. “There is no expectation of a romantic relationship between the two. They’re both grown adults and know exactly what this is.”
Last month in an exclusive interview with the National Enquirer, Ernie had suggested that he had long wanted the pair to be more than just friends with benefits but Bert was happy to keep playing the field.
“Why can’t he just acknowledge that we’re good together and we satisfy each other in all areas of life,” Ernie told the Enquirer. “We’re not getting any younger and I honestly don’t think he’s going to do much better.”
The show also moved to dispel the long running rumour that the Cookie Monster was a drug addict, confirming today that he is merely a drug dealer and had been clean for over 3 years.