A 17-year-old student from Toronto has become the city’s first resident in recorded history to correctly pronounce its name. The remarkable incident supposedly occurred while the young man was speaking with friends in his local coffee shop, late Tuesday evening.
“We were all just hanging out, you know, talking about Tronno and how it awesome it is, when suddenly one of the guys says ‘I think it’s actually pronounced To-ron-to’,” one eyewitness told the CBC. “Everyone in Tims went totally silent and just stared at him.” The youngster was then asked to leave by one employee who apparently told him that if he “wanted to use language like that” then he should “fuck off back to Vancouver”.
Fearing a public backlash the teen quickly returned home, where his parents were “understandably shocked” when told the news. “I reacted like any parent would,” his father told police, who responded to his 911 call about his “possessed” son “speaking in tongues”. His mother later told CTV News: “Honestly, we’re just so relieved that he probably only has some sort of learning disability, or speech impediment, or something.”
However, one professor of linguistics at the University of Toronto, Christine Andrews, took an interest in the controversy and began researching the boy’s findings. After consulting with colleagues at every other college in Canada, and Donald Sutherland, she ultimately verified the claim that “To-ron-to” was in fact the correct pronunciation.
“Sometimes the simplest solutions are in fact the best,” the professor said, after the young man revealed his revolutionary “pronouncing words as they are written” philosophy. “It defies literally everything we understand about language.”
A parade to celebrate the prodigy’s achievement is planned for next week, while local government have begun a social media blitz to inform Torontonians, releasing a 10 minute video of Drake carefully repeating “Toe-ron-toe” over and over.
Public reaction amongst Torontonians appears mixed. Many have lauded the boy, saying that “he must be some kind of genius or something”, while others appear to be less than pleased. “I’ve lived in Cha’ronno all my life and I won’t have some kid telling me to pronounce my t’s. It’s just sounds wrong.”
Mayor John Tory called the news “eye-opening for the people of…. this city”, as the 5,000 strong crowd chanted “To-ron-to” faster and faster before bursting out into applause.
“To-ron-to” now brings the total number of acceptable pronunciations for the city, to 7, joining “Tronno, Tor-on-oh, Trawna, Tuh-rah-no, Te-renno, Churr-ono and Cha’ronno.
Meanwhile, elsewhere in Canada, researchers looking for an Albertan able to pronounce the second “a” in Calgary, claim their study will likely take decades to complete.