VANCOUVER, BC—There are growing fears inside Vancouver City Hall this evening that the beloved Gastown Steam Clock may be forced to shut down permanently due to Covid-19.
Following announcements by the Vancouver Aquarium and Science World that both may have to close due to the financial implications of the pandemic, the Steam Clock is now facing an uncertain future.
Revenue for the clock is down over 90% with Vancouver’s tourism industry was decimated by the Coronavirus and the BC government’s advising people against standing needlessly around in a circle with large groups for no apparent reason whatsoever.
“I mean ideally people shouldn’t be gathering around it anyway. It’s a totally pointless attraction,” a City of Vancouver employee told the BSJ. “But especially now it’s an even dumber idea.”
According to the unnamed employee, the infamous clock has a huge budget, estimated to be over $27 million per year, almost all of it electricity cost to power the clock and the steam. “Do you know how much it costs to power a god damn clock that you’re pretending is powered by steam? No? Well then. It’s a lot.”
If the darkest day in Vancouver’s history is confirmed and the Steam Clock is plugged out forever, will BC’s tourism industry ever recover from such a devastating loss?
“Unlikely,” says leading Steam Clock historian, Fayek Steim. “People travel far-and-wide across the globe to see Vancouver’s famous Steam Clock. Where else in the world does there exist a moderately sized clock powered by electricity that occasionally emits a slight mist for no reason whatsoever? The Gastown Steam Clock put Vancouver on the map. This city would be nothing without it! NOTHING!”