MOJAVE DESERT, NA—Alex Jones, the infamous founder of the alt-right entertainment site, Infowars, is reportedly “seriously considering” a presidential run in November given the current field of candidates available.
On Monday, Kanye West threw his hat into the ring taking the total number of mentally unstable candidates currently running for president to 3, and Jones feels the time is right to increase that number to 4.
“If America wants crazy, I can give them crazy,” Jones reportedly told aides via Skype from his underground bunker deep in the Mojave Desert. “The question is, can we get enough of the lizard people’s vote away from Hillary and Obama?”
Amazingly, U.S. political analysts insist Jones may actually have a real shot of winning in 2020 should he decide to run.
“He’s kind of the complete package for the average American voter in 2020,” one analyst told the BSJ. “He combines Joe Biden’s rambling nonsensical drivel with Donald Trump’s racist and homophobic bile, as well as Kanye West’s just complete and utter manic lunacy. He’s really got everything that America seems to be crying out for right now.”
If Jones does run it will feel like the ultimate act of betrayal by Trump, who will likely feel he took Jones under his wing and taught him all the crazy shit he thinks he knows.
“I’m not worried,” Jones said. “Donald used to be the craziest player in the game but with Kanye… all bets are off so I need to do this for the good of the country. Besides Donald is not exactly one for petty jealousy.”
“Under my presidency, America will finally land on the moon for real,” Jones proclaimed in a recorded message. “I will even be a part of the mission myself so as to ensure there are no green screens this time”.
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