REALIZING it may have possibly taken it’s relatively easy-going relationship with the USA for granted, Canada says its “old friend” has “totally changed” since it started hanging out with “that Trump guy”.
In an exclusive interview with the BSJ, Canada revealed that it always knew America had “issues” but wished it had reached out to them instead of others.
“I mean sure the U.S. has had it’s fair share of problems, it has always been kind of a goofball you know,” Canada said, flicking the ash from its cigarette. “But now, I dunno man, America’s different. They don’t like our wood or dairy anymore for no reason, and it’s all happened since HE showed up.”
“Ever since that Trump guy arrived on the scene it’s been bad news,” the world’s second largest country added, claiming it tried to warn the U.S. multiple times, even offering to take America in, at least until it got itself back on its feet, but says their neighbour just wouldn’t listen.
“America kept shouting ‘Make America Great Again, Make America Great Again’ over and over. Guess they don’t care about us anymore, right?’ ”
The USA’s response of “anymore?” seemingly not helping relations.
The Great White North admitted its disappointment that the United States was undervaluing itself under the influence of its new amigo.
“I mean, you know, the US wasn’t so bad… actually they were pretty great,” Canada conceded, adding that maybe it should have told America that more often.
“Maybe if we had sat America down and said ‘hey, you’re already great’, then all of this could have been avoided,” Canada added, shaking its head. “Now the US spends all of its time with him, his Russian friends and even North Korea, and completely hates Canada for like no reason,” Canada sighed, adding that it hoped America will “get the help it needs and realize who its true friends are soon”.
“At least they are still speaking to us,” Canada remarked, noting how America wasn’t even on speaking terms with its other neighbour, Mexico, having recently made multiple public attempts to report its other neighbour as sexual predators.