Chelsea Shocked as John Terry revealed to NOT be in Ashley Madison leak

Ashley Madison leak
Ashley Madison leak

More shocking news emerged from Stamford Bridge last night, as John Terry was revealed to NOT be among the list of leaked Ashley Madison profiles. 

Ashley Madison, a website that allows married people an avenue to cheat on their spouse, was hacked by the ‘hacktivist’ group Anonymous. The hacktivist group leaked private information of it’s more than 15 million members, however much to the surprise of all in world football, John Terry was not amongst those named.

Initially Jose Mourinho confirmed to close friends, that the threatened release of Ashley Madison profiles had “distracted” the Chelsea captain, and was the real reason behind Terry’s half-time withdrawal against Man City. The Chelsea manager later said he should have known Terry wouldn’t have been on the site: “JT is much too slow for new technologies like that. It’s just that whenever a major scandal breaks involving infidelity, I panic, as usually Terry is involved, somehow. Maybe he’s turning over a new leaf.”

The England captain seemed determined to prove he has changed and immediately spoke out against men using the site to cheat on their wives. “I don’t understand all these new technologies,” he said. “Back in my day, if you wanted to cheat on your wife, you simply waited until your teammate left for training and then slipped in. But the kids nowadays, don’t want to hide in bushes for 3 hours to have sex. They’re not willing to put in the time and effort, like real men.”

Ashley Madison leak
Ashley Madison leak – Terry’s new app

Indeed Terry claims he has “found God” and says he feels reborn: “I’m a new man. I don’t sleep with other women anymore. I see now, how my actions hurt the people close to me. I really burned some Bridges.”

He continued: “Now I’m just trying to get the help I need. The important thing is to not blame myself, which I don’t. I blame my wife. How could she let me away with this for so long? She has a lot of growing up to do as a human being.”

Terry’s new found faith and an intervention by his Chelsea teammates set JT on the right path: “All the lads held an intervention for me. By that point I had moved onto to my teammates sisters, because I’d already finished with all their wives and mothers. After I rode Diego Costa’s twin sister, I knew I’d hit rock bottom. They look exactly alike…”

Ashley Madison leak
Ashley Madison leak

Amongst the famous wife-cheating profile’s that actually were leaked, include Sunderland’s Adam Johnson. His profile was found on the website ‘Ashley Madison Jr.’, the younger sister site of Ashley Madison.

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