BOWLING GREEN, KY—The body of Joe Trudeau has been tragically found dead this morning, as the Bowling Green Massacre claims yet another non-existent life.
Just 6 short years after never happening, the BG Massacre continues claiming fictional lives and White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, revealed the name “Joe Trudeau” would need to be added to the invisible list of victims.
“It is with great sadness that I announce the sudden passing of Joe Trudeau,” Spicer began his daily briefing, before bowing his head in silence. “A man some of us knew for years and some of us knew for hours, nothing will ever change how definitely real you used to be. May you rest in peace.”
Spicer verified the victim was no relation to the Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who recently visited the U.S.
“No, I can confirm that Justin is alive and well. And I’d like to announce my personal relief that Justin remained uninjured in this senseless attack, and extend my warmest regards to Justin, his wife Sophie, sons Hadrien and Xavier, and daughter Ella-Grace.”
The Melissa McCarthy looklike ended his press conference by asking his friend Justin to “make sure to say hi” to his father, “Joseph Philippe Pierre Yves Elliott Trudeau”, saying he “must catch up with Pierre” the next time he’s in Ottawa.