THE biggest Manchester United Supporters Group, have openly admitted that the Red Devils are “no longer” the global ambassadors for the city of Manchester. In a statement released on facebook, MUST congratulated local rivals Man City on their new title as “Manchester’s biggest club”.
The statement read:
“The Manchester United Supporters Trust (MUST) would like to formally announce that Manchester United are no longer the biggest club in Manchester. We would like to congratulate our nearest rivals Manchester City, on their new title. We are confident they will represent Manchester well, going forward.
As for us, we will now vie with Bury and Oldham for the title of Manchester’s ‘other’ club.”
Pep Guardiola’s appointment as the new City manager, United’s terrible form, and the general gulf in class between the two sides, have all contributed to the Red Devils’ supporters’ group “accepting the new reality.”
“I think it’s time we acknowledge that we’re not the biggest club in this city anymore,” MUST spokesman Francis Forde told reporters. “The balance of power has shifted. We just have to accept that we’re down to Liverpool’s level now, and move on.”
While Man United’s future looks decidedly bleak, their cross-town rivals are eagerly anticipating the sight of Pep Guardiola in the dugout next season. Louis Van Gaal admits everyone at United was disappointed with Guardiola’s decision to snub United in favour of the big rivals. “Obviously there is a lot of disappointment in the dressing room and around the club as a whole with his decision. No one wants to be stuck with me or Mourinho. So it’s a big setback, no doubt.”
Even Sir Alex Ferguson claims the 20-time Premier League are no longer the top dogs in Manchester. “It’s their time,” Sir Alex said resignedly. “We’ve been the only club in this city for the past 120 odd years, so I guess they should have their moment. We’re the noisy neighbours now, and we’ll try to keep it down.”
As a further sign of the changing tides in Manchester, Forde even claimed United fans could learn a thing or two from their local rivals. “Well I think City fans are an inspiration to fans to all struggling teams, like ours. City won the title in ’68 and then nothing for decades. They didn’t shout or complain. They simply hung in there and waited 44 years for a billionaire oil baron to buy their club, buy any player available and ultimately, buy two league titles. They are living the British dream.”
In any case, United fans hope their demotion to second best won’t last too long. “Well Pep will only be around for about 3 years, right?” Forde said. “Till then, there’s always the League Cup, I suppose. We should check if the Intertoto Cup is still going too.”