FAIRFAX, VA – The National Rifle Association has released a statement calling on President Obama to take executive action on gay nightclubs, in the wake of the Orlando shooting.
Omar Mateen, armed with a knife, pistol and assault rifle, entered the LGBT club Pulse in South Florida, before murdering 50 people and wounding 53 more. Hours earlier Mateen called 911 to pledge his allegiance to ISIS and referenced the Boston bombings. The NRA say the evidence speaks for itself:
“How many more shootings at these places do we need, before the government imposes stronger regulations on gay nightclub control,” they tweeted, minutes after the shooting.
Rather than Mateen’s recently purchased AR-15-type assault rifle, the association claims it was his “totally rational” hatred for homosexuals that caused the mass shooting:
“By allowing individuals with limited background checks the right to legally own and operate gay establishments, the broken American judicial system is literally handing terrorists the tools with which to carry out these attacks.” – National Rifle Association
Why a man with known terrorist ties by the FBI, was legally allowed to buy a gun is “completely irrelevant” the NRA explained, while unveiling their new ad campaign: “Guns. Not the cause, but the solution to all of America’s problems.”
There was some good news for the LGBT community as the NRA reassuringly insisted they are not calling for an outright ban on homosexuality, but merely restrictions on “how and where gay people congregate to spread their un-sacred beliefs”.
Better still, Wayne LaPierre claims that despite the tragedy the NRA are “happy to report” that all weapons involved remain in a stable condition, adding, “at least we can all take some comfort from that.”