WASHINGTON, DC—The American President Donald Trump has had his offer to visit the White House rebuffed by the rescued Thai boys, who instead have voted unanimously to return to the watery cave.
The cave which is now over 95% full of water has still been deemed more inviting than the White House especially to young children who would likely be seen as migrants and detained by ICE.
“They’ve been to hell and back and now you want to send them to another hell? No. These boys have been through enough,” said the boys’ soccer coach firmly.
Instead Elon Musk is currently devising a submarine large enough to take the boys back into the deadly tunnels far from the reach of President Trump. In event of the worst case scenario happening, the sub will be fitted with enough supplies to last until 2024.
“I never thought there could be anything worse than that cave,” said one child packing his bag, “but boy was I wrong.”