VANCOUVER, BC—In response to the increasingly hazardous road conditions across the Lower Mainland, the City of Vancouver are considering trialling a revolutionary new tire that can drive safely on snow.
Unimaginatively named “snow tires”, their inventor Justin Lee insists the tires look exactly like regular wheels but with added grip that supposedly limits the car’s chances of sliding directly into oncoming traffic.
The local Vancouverite claims the idea came to him after the most recent snow storm last December that resulted in so many car accidents it halved the city’s population.
“Seeing all of these thousands of cars slip and slide into each other, with all those people dying needlessly I thought, what if there’s another way?” the 36-year-old told the BSJ. “What if there was tire that didn’t turn your car into an out-of-control death trap on snow and ice.”
So Mr. Lee created a prototype for the new “snow tire” that he suggests motorists use in the winter while reverting back to their regular tires in the summer.
“So what, he expects us to go around changing our tires twice a year?” one motorist scoffed. “I mean who does that?”
“What’s next? Halloween tires? Easter tires? Rainy day tires? Honestly where does it stop?” another told us, while his car was being towed away.
Undeterred, the city expects to debut the new tire in time for next winter, and will begin by offering citizens free snow tires at fire halls across the city, on a strictly first come first serve basis.
Mr. Lee appears quietly confident his tires will prove a success and already anticipates a wider rollout across the whole of Canada. “Wait till all the guys out east get a load of this,” he enthused, “they won’t know what hit them! And for once it won’t be a Vancouver driver.”