Anfield has been rocked today after the announcement that Raheem Sterling demands Liverpool move to London.
Sterling shocked the club by cutting off talks over a proposed £250,000 a week new deal UNTIL the club relocates Anfield to London. The winger cited “language barriers” as the main reason for leaving Liverpool saying: “I’ve been learning Scouse for 5 years now, and I’ve not got a clue what Stevie G is yapping about”.
Sterling’s representatives have insisted that Anfield should be airlifted ‘as is’ and flown by multiple helicopters to London in time for the new 2015/16 season. Anfield is set to placed over the current home of Charlton Athletic, who are moving The Valley to Silicon Valley in San Francisco to take part in the MLS.
Brendan Rodgers has denied the allegations insisting that Liverpool were already going to relocate to London in order to move Mario Balotelli away from his newly burned Liverpool mansion. Balotelli seemed unmoved, “Well where the fuck am I supposed to burn money? I’m cold. I need to move to a climate of 38.7°C”.
Rodgers also suggested a tactical benefit to the move, insisting “Well high altitude obviously doesn’t help Henderson, so I think it’s better to move the club closer to the equator”.
Dejan Lovren is to be left in Liverpool…