HOLLYWOOD, CA—As the number of women accusing Harvey Weinstein of rape grows hourly, the movie industry has taken the unprecedented step of releasing the complete list of all women not sexually assaulted by the film producer.
While still maintaining Weinstein’s behaviour came as a “complete shock” to everyone who knew the respected producer, Hollywood executives quickly compiled the list of actresses the 65-year-old did not harass, abuse or rape.
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A spokesperson announced that the list was being published in an effort to “save time”, having earlier admitted to losing count of the number of victims days ago.
“We just decided to come at this from a different angle,” he said. “Let’s assume every young woman to enter the movie industry in the last 30 years was abused by Weinstein and work backwards from there.”
The result is a definitive list of 17 names that Harvey Weinstein has allegedly not abused, however Hollywood’s legal team stressed that this number is just an estimate and there is “every chance” the number will tumble in the coming days.
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