OTTAWA, ON—Sources close to Justin Trudeau have revealed that the Prime Minister will demand opposition leader Andrew Scheer kiss him to prove that he is not homophobic.
After a video showing Scheer’s open opposition to gay marriage resurfaced this week, the Liberal Party has been quick to attack Scheer or question his commitment to gay people in Canada
Now the Canadian PM is expected to make the announcement on Monday in the House of Commons, demanding the Conservative leader make out with him immediately or be deemed a homophobe for life.
“It’s the only way he can prove it for real,” the PM reportedly told close aides. “Obviously it’s the last thing I want but I’m prepared to make out with as many MPs as I have to for the good of my country.”
The Trudeau camp says tongues will be optional but insists that Scheer “will have to do it with his eyes open or it won’t count”.
When Trudeau delivers the shocking ultimatom, Liberal MPs have been briefed to chant “kiss him, kiss him, kiss him” until Scheer agrees.
Jagmeet Singh is thought to be also willing to get in on the action as a show of good faith between the 3 political leaders in what could prove to be one of the weirdest sights ever seen in the House of Commons.
“God when that whole SNC thing came out, who would have thought it would have come to this?” Trudeau reportedly sighed, while practising kissing a male aide without popping up his foot up.