POLICE in the Spanish capital Madrid, are looking for a 24-year-old Spanish national who has said to have “gone missing from his Madrid home.” The 24-year-old was reported missing to the Policía Municipal de Madrid, a day after the search for an older Spanish man was called off after 24 minutes. The elderly man is believed to have fled to Portugal.
The Real Madrid Newsletter, Marca, alerted police to the disappearance suggesting “Los Diablos Rojos” were refusing to free the man from his contract. “Los Diablos Rojos” themselves, claim the “newspaper” are trying to create controversy and suggested they are were puppets to a greater master. “Sinn Fein are to the IRA as Marca are to Real Madrid,” said a former “Diablos” boss.
He moved to Manchester on work exchange from Madrid in 2011, under the one-sided assumption that he would one day return to his “parent club”. The club have since deemed his recent performances worthy but have stressed he must return quickly. “It’s not quite in Bale territory yet but we’ve essentially destroyed the legacy of an icon just to sign him, so the fans are a little bloodthirsty,” said a spokesman.
The Spaniard visited Madrid as recently as 2 weeks ago, announcing to bystanders at a Madrid airport:
“I’m only home to spend time at home with my family at my home here at home. Please do not read too much into this. I cannot wait to return to Manchester so I can complete my contractually obliged term. Sorry ‘term’ is not the right word… Sentence, my contractually obliged sentence.”
The Madrid-based organisation said negotiations with “the terrorists” were not progressing well; “Our feeder team are proving quite bothersome. They refuse to give us what is ours and instead expect us to sell one of our brightest guys. The arrogance of some people.”
His Spanish supermodel girlfriend spoke about her “loyal” man; “He left Madrid for a better life in Manchester but he wanted to come home to be near me. He’d probably be much happier and far more successful in Manchester but I want him here and he obeys me. I guess you could say, he’s a Real keeper! Hey-ooo.”