WASHINGTON, DC—Donald Trump has officially confirmed that his entire presidency has been one gigantic April Fools culminating in today.
“Did I get you?” Trump tweeted in the early hours of this morning in a series of tweets explaining his conduct over the past 2 years as president, as well as in the run-up to the 2016 election.
President Trump explained that when he was first asked if his presidency was an April Fools he jokingly replied ‘no’ and felt obligated to live the lie rather than ruin the joke.
The President also apologised for his various controversial remarks over the past 4 years:
“I did hate saying all of those horrid nasty things about Mexicans, women, the disabled, military vets, muslims, the media, the Democratic Party, The Republican Party, my daughter, Puerto Rico, Canada, Europe and all those shitehole nations……. but it was all just a big joke!!! Aside obviously from my comments about Rosie O’Donnell. Those stand as is.”
“Look this is not even my real hair!” he exclaimed, posting a photo of him peeling back wig before posting another of his sleeves rolled up with the caption: “and these are not even my real hands” followed by a tweet explaining that his “real hands are actually impossible to see by the naked eye” forcing him to wear fakes.
With that Trump resigned the presidency and set off with wife Melania on a two-year peacekeeping mission, where the pair will help build schools across Sub-Saharan Africa for transgendered orphans.