DONALD Trump has reassured the Mexican President that Canada will “definitely” pay for 50% of the proposed U.S./Mexican wall, securing what he believes is “a great deal” for all 3 parties. “Honestly it’s a great deal for Mexico, it’s a great deal for America, it’s win-win,” he grinned, speaking to FOX News.
The Republican nominee claims that if elected, Canada will “have no choice” but to subsidize “at least” half of the 1,954 miles-long barrier between the U.S. and Mexico.
“Listen I’m gonna get you the best deal, a truly great deal,” Trump told Enrique Peña Nieto during his visit to Mexico city. “Canada will be happy to contribute towards the wall, once I explain it to them in terms they understand.”
Once safely back in the U.S, the billionaire sought about rubber stamping the agreement by using his favourite method of communication.
“So I’ve secured @Mexico the best deal. Now you only have to pay for half of the wall! And people say I never do anything for #MyMexicans…” he tweeted.
Seconds later, Trump sent another carefully thought out tweet, this time directed at Justin Trudeau: “So listen @Trudeau, I’m gonna need to get your half of the wall ASAP.” Before adding, “Oh and that’s 15 billion American. Your monopoly money’s no good in Texas.”
The GOP nominee then finally tweeted a photo of a “legally-binding contract” written on the back of a KFC napkin, that read:
“This legitimate Twitter contract confirms that @Mexico and @Canada will contribute finances, resources and manpower to the construction of the Trump wall, while @USA supervises.”
Three hours later, the Apprentice star attempted to convince the Canadian PM that the proposal was actually in his country’s best interest. “This border is a huuuge problem for Canada, believe me. The happier Americans are, the safer Canadians are, so really Canada needs this wall more than us,” he argued.
After waiting 24 hours for a response, Trump eventually retweeted his initial “contract” adding the words, “The wall just got 10 metres higher… #HowBigIsThisThingByNow?”
Despite Trudeau’s refusal to answer or even acknowledge his tweets, Trump reassured Peña Nieto of the dire consequences for Canada if they refuse to comply. “Don’t you worry Mr. President, a fate worse than death,” Trump said in a private message. “We’ll deport all our Mexicans there and let Johnny Canuck deal with them. You can even dump some of yours too. It’s time for Canada to share the burden of all these rapists.”