CITING her vast experience and dedication, Donald Trump has announced that Monica Lewinsky has joined his campaign team as Chief Strategy Advisor.
Despite having no previous experience in managing or advising a presidential campaign, Trump still feels she is “the outstanding canditate for the role”, noting that she came “highly recommended” and had “the best references”.
The republican candidate believes Lewinsky can provide his campaign with some valuable insights:
“I think Monica will make a tremendous Chief Strategy Advisor. She’s made for the role really. In some ways, it’s almost feels like we invented the role just for her. She’s such a great fit.”
Trump confirmed that given her experience, the activist and fashion designer will primarily focus on the democratic party, and particularly the upcoming debates with Hillary Clinton.
“I think she’ll be a huge help and can really give us a unique perspective. I just can’t wait to find out what she knows and really pick her brain,” Trump said, adding that he is currently investigating how many of the three televised debates will be R-rated.
According to close sources, Lewinsky is “delighted” with her new position and specifically her briefing to focus strictly on the Clinton campaign, a role she claims to have been preparing for all her life. In fact, such has been the success of the appointment so far, Trump already claims to have garnered enough material on Hillary “for like fifty debates”.
Trump was also pleasantly surprised to discover that Lewinsky does have some previous experience in politics. “Apparently she’s worked in DC before and even spent some time at the White House, but she said it left a bad taste in her mouth. I promised her that this time it might be totally different.”
Lewinsky has also been tasked with creating a top secret campaign video featuring old home movies of her previous time in the White House. “It’s going to be the first presidential ad campaign video on Pornhub,” Trump nodded. “Once again, I continue to blaze a trail for future presidential candidates.”