Hundreds dead overnight as death toll from ‘The Leitrim War’ rises to over 5,000.

SLAVE LAKE, ALTA: MAY 15, 2011 -- A residential home lies burned to the ground in the town of Slave Lake, Alta. on May 15, 2011. An wildfire swept through the town, burning down about one third of the buildings. (Shane O'Brien for Edmonton Journal)

ANOTHER week of widespread violence on the North/South Leitrim border has seen the death toll rise to almost 5,000. Leaders on both sides of the border have appealed for calm, amidst intensified scenes of bloodshed that has seen the town of Drumshanbo reduced to a smouldering rubble. Reports suggesting this was the original state of the town pre-war are unconfirmed.

Conflict in the region began after the Irish marriage equality referendum, in which North Leitrim (and Sligo) voted FOR same sex marriage and the South and Roscommon voted AGAINST it. While the rest of Ireland laughed at their “backwards” neighbours, violence within Leitrim broke out almost immediately after the referendum results causing deep civil unrest in the County.

“Smug and self righteous” North Leitrimites were said to have belittled the southerners which saw the South react in kind by bombing Manorhamilton. The North Leitrim Equality Fighters said: “We’re all for equal rights for all Leitrimites, except for those who don’t agree with us. Those people, we will drive them into Roscommon and unite Leitrim as one, once again. To hell or to Roscommon.”

These words instigated weeks of drone strikes at the Siege of Lough Allen as both sides battle for control of Leitrim’s primary water supply. The Democratic Republic of South Leitrim, raising the confederate flag, said they want to bring an end to the conflict as soon as possible: “We just want to end this and make Leitrim a safe place for everyone, who accepts the Lord Jesus Christ as their personal saviour and denounces homosexuality. Then Leitrim can go back to normal.”

Refugees from both sides of the divide are fleeing to neighbouring counties but marriage equality deniers are only been accepted in Roscommon and Northern Ireland at present. Some North Leitrimites have crossed into Cavan. Most have said they would rather die.

Leitrim residents are once again stunned by the mainstream media’s lack of coverage on the Leitrim War:

“There are people literally dying here and the government and media are doing nothing. I wrote to the Taoiseach personally, and all I got in return was a signed headshot of him and a ‘Mayo 4 Sam’ pin.”

Enda Kenny responded to UN’s concerns about the escalating violence in the region by saying he was calm about the situation: “Obviously we’ve investigated the concerns but I can categorically say, that there is no evidence to suggest that there is anywhere in Ireland called Leitrim.”