Irish fast-food chain, Supermac’s are poised to complete a surprise takeover of League of Ireland side, Galway United. The announcement has sent shockwaves through the fast-food industry and Airtricity League alike.
Former Brazil and Inter Milan legend, Adriano, has been unveiled as the club’s first signing, along with former Man United midfielder, Anderson. Galway’s Eamonn Deacy Park, will be renamed “The Snack Box” as part of the takeover.
Supermacs’ owner, Pat McDonagh, said the surprising collaboration, came about after a chance meeting between the two in Halo nightclub during the Galway Races. “Well, it was ladies day, so Halo was wedged. I was in the VIP section chatting to this big guy who was raving about the food in Supermac’s. The Venky’s success at Blackburn made me think that it was possible so I asked him if he’d be interested in my plans.”
The former Inter Milan star, confirmed his meeting with McDonagh was “very productive”. “Myself and Pat had a meeting of the minds over 17 snackboxes after the Galway races. Any man to produce a snack-box with garlic cheese chip is someone I want to be in business with,” said Adriano.
McDonagh also confirmed that Adriano will become Supermacs’ new figurehead as part of the deal. Lovingly dubbed, “fatter ‘fat Ronaldo’ ” by his Brazil teammates, Adriano said he is fulfilling a lifetime ambition. “While most people know me primarily as a footballer, it might surprise you to know, that I also enjoy food. This move combines my two greatest passions, eating fast-food and attempting to play football.”
Speaking openly to FM Football News, Adriano said he had “many regrets” about his footballing career, but is determined to grasp this “second chance”.
“Up until this moment, my greatest accomplishment had been being the best player in Pro Evolution Soccer for a period of two years. Now I know that I will be remembered for being the person who brought Supermac’s to the world. I will be the Dr. Dre of the fast-food industry.” – Adriano
As part of the announcement, Supermac’s have donated 1 million lbs of their “food” to feed starving children in Brazil. Adriano: “Now even the poorest kids in Brazil can dream of becoming as fat as me.”
Finally, Brazil’s first ever Supermac’s will be open 24 hours a day and will be located in Adriano’s kitchen. “I put it in my house so I never have to wait. I don’t want any of that ‘Saturday night in Eyre Square’ shit.”